Que sera sera. Doris Day, the actress and singer whose husky voice crooned this classic song so richly, hauntingly and melodiously, has died, aged 97.
Whatever will be, will be. Life is not what it is supposed it be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference.
We prescribe more medication for depression today than any other illness. The suicide rate among teens and young adults has increased 5,000% in the last 50 years. Studies reveal that the more money you have, the more likely you are to take your own life. Economics is clearly not a good measure of happiness. In an age of unprecedented prosperity, there are millions who feel that something is missing in their lives.
What’s the problem? What is missing? What is it that we need that we don’t have? How do we get it?
More than one in every two marriages ends in divorce or separation. The average man or woman is now likely to change jobs five times more frequently than his or her working grandparents.
Way back in the 90’s, I went through a tough time financially. I handled what was in front of me, and stayed open to opportunities. I lived hand-to-mouth, one month at a time. Eventually I rebuilt my life, brick by brick, step by step. I transformed myself from victim to victor.
Many of the mistakes in my life have come from being impatient: annoyed with how long something was taking, pressuring others to hurry up, or jumping to conclusion. Patience doesn’t mean ignoring real problems, but life is full of delays and discomfort, sometimes we just have to wait.
Some of the world’s most notable high achievers have flunked or dropped out of school, been fired from their jobs, evicted from their homes or dealt some major setback that forced them to hit bottom. But they bounced back.
The question is, what are you willing to do to improve your circumstances? Your life can, and will change when you take responsibility for the choices you have made – in your education, your relationships, and your life – and begin the work necessary to better your situation.
Consider a child who can’t escape bullying or an adult who’s been abused. or situations in which one person in a downsized corporation trying to do the jobs of three people. Even subtle forms of powerlessness wear people down over time, such as repeatedly trying to get the sustained empathic attention of a partner and finally giving up. A growing sense of pessimism, futility and hopelessness drags down mood and is a major factor for depression.
Why is it that some people have the grit and determination to succeed against all odds, while others do not? Research shows it’s not about having nothing to lose; rather, it’s about believing there is much to gain. The sense that you can make things happen rather than being helpless.
In other words, hope means that, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, you have faith that things are going to work out. Hope helps to anchor you as a storm rages around you – you have faith the sun will be back again one day. It’s hope that keeps misery from having the last word.
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